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Grave Condition by Blood Tsunami

Album Review: Grave Condition by Blood Tsunami

Heavy fucking metal. That. Right there. Heavy (fucking) metal transcends the boundaries of its musical genre description and trudges its way into lifestyle territory for its fans. On the flip side, some, if not most, laugh at it and dismiss it as unintelligible noise. But, some borderline make it a religion. Well, not even borderline… I’m more than certain there are more than a few people that will yell “Slayer” when asked which deity they chose to worship or which church they chose to belong to. I, myself, admittedly (and unashamedly), am pretty much one of those people. One of US as they say. Especially in my teenage years where LITERALLY all I did was listen to heavy (fucking) metal. Heavy metal is a community if nothing else. You can be a heavy metal fan anywhere here on God’s green Earth and if you run into some dude wearing a Cannibal Corpse t-shirt, odds are, you two are going to become friends. With having no prior knowledge of one another’s existence or any knowledge of each other at all, for that matter. Except that Cannibal Corpse, or Slayer, or Bathory, or fill in the blank, motherfucker; t-shirt. What other musical genre can unite people like that? Before all my punk rock friends throw shit at me, hear me out. Im as big of a punk rock fan these days as I EVER was a heavy metal fan… if not more. I mean I fucking love it. BUT I have never witnessed as much camaraderie, passion, and overall coolness, as I have in the heavy metal realm. Punk rock is an EXTREMELY razor-close second… but there’s something about heavy metal, man. Forget all the subgeneres for a second; it doesn’t matter what KIND of heavy metal you are privy to, were all for one and one for all. But at its core heavy metal can be defined by its flagship bands like Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Metallica, Slayer… need I bore you or insult your intelligence with any more? And also…

WASN’T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING ALBUM REVIEW? ARE YOU DONE PROFESSING YOUR LOVE FOR HEAVY MUSIC. Well, one… Im getting to that, I swear. And two… never. You motherfuckers. Ever. And neither should you. Now back to that album review… this band manages to capture the essence of those core bands as well as satisfy most subgenera snobs… BLOOD TSUNAMI! Need I say more? With heavy metal bands it almost seems like a pissing contest when it comes to their names. Its almost as if who can be the most fucked up, the most catchy, the most simple, you name it. Band names are out there and for better or worse, all awesome. But this one caught my attention immediately based on the grounds that its not TOO fucked up, but not TOO simple, and just pretty funny and sweet. And, I’ve never heard of this particular Norwegian THRASH metal band, so I checked out their newest record; Grave Condition. And, man, was I fucking not disappointed.

From its kick-in-the-dick opener “Poison Tongue” that sounds like a track off Seasons in the Abyss if Seasons in the Abyss went through a couple more seasons.. and abysses. Make sense? I didn’t think so. But you know what im trying to say: its heavy. Its fast. Its evil. And it rules. Rolling right into the second groovy little philosophical face-pounder “Allegory of the Cave” all the way to the epic closing track reminding you whose boss, “Steel Meets Steel,” this is one HELL of a thrash metal record. From its deathy-chuggy-yet-groovy riffs sprinkled in with classic, squealing, thrash solos kept short and sweet; pounding, perfectly balanced drums and clashing symbols with the tank of a bass sound playing right to them; and a vocal performance that is that of a volcano (or tsunami??) spewing out everything from growls, screams, chants, and straight to the point angry and catchy lyrics all diced up with a punk edge and wrapped in a little blackened bow. .this record kicks ass.

Listening to Grave Condition, I was immediately taken back to my younger days of demonic delinquency, and I loved every second of it. Not too many other newer bands have really had that effect (the exception being Dallas Texas’s POWER TRIP, who I will get to later also) and I thank BLOOD TSUNAMI from the bottom of my heavy fucking metal filled heart for that. Crank it up. Hit the gym. You wont be sorry. Stick it to em.

Rock Rating:

4/5

Gym Rating:

4.5/5

Check em out: https://bloodtsunami.bandcamp.com

https://www.facebook.com/bloodtsunamiofficial